Day Two Sunday Broken Keys (the mole) and Name That Tune.

Firstly I need to start off with an apology to our Irish friends, I made the mistake of saying this was their second convoy that they have been represented on when it is in fact their third. Thanks to the observant people in the UK for correcting my mistake.

The plan was for an early start as we were all split up in 3 different hotels around Koblenz, in our particular hotel there were thirteen drivers. At 07:15 on the dot eleven drivers were ready and loaded into the two minibuses that we had ordered. A roll call was ordered to find out who was missing and it was identified that Abdul and David (Shinybeast) were missing. Convoy leader Steve (Monster Socks) had to go up to their room and knock them up, they had both slept through their alarm. (Early to bed next time)

We all eventually met up at the hotel where the vehicles had been left and we hit the motorway in high spirits and hoping to get many miles under our wheels, with the roads expected to be quiet. Across most of Europe and particularly Germany no large heavy goods vehicles are allowed on the motorways during the day on Sunday. (From 10pm Saturday to 10pm Sunday) That means that all the HGV’s park up for the day and rest ready for Sunday night or Monday morning.

Our hopes of a flyer were partly dashed a couple of hours up the road, Jim & Duncan (The Proclaimers) announced that their red warning light for their fuel had come on so we needed to find fuel. We all pulled into a service station and started to fuel up, through a series of unfortunate events (which in the interests of convoy confidentiality cannot be disclosed here) I ended up in the convoy leaders vehicle to move it away from the pumps and unfortunately when I returned the keys to Peter (Monster Socks) half of it was still in the barrel of the ignition. (I don’t know my own strength sometimes) After a great deal of looking at by all the technical expertise of the convoy (engineers, mechanics, brain surgeons, we have the lot on convoy) Francis (The Pilgrims) made the final judgement that it was probably terminal and DAF Aid was called to fix the problem.

This particular incident has sparked some debate as to whether I (The Boppers) was in fact a mole that has been sent on convoy to deliberately sabotage the convoy. So far in my attempts we nearly didn’t make the ferry at Newcastle on time, we got a flat battery on the ferry and tried to delayed convoy with this particular incident. This has led to a great deal of suspicion from my fellow convoy drivers and some are not letting me anywhere near their vehicles and believe me to be cursed.

Anyway back to convoy, the decision was made to leave convoy leaders behind and for them to wait for assistance. New temporary convoy leaders were appointed and Jack and Simon (Bulldogs) stepped up to the task and led the convoy admirably.

We were flying along nicely when it was a call came over the radio that Bob and Steve (Truck Doctor) would be leaving us to go back to the convoy leaders. The convoy leaders had just realised that the paperwork that we needed for us to get the boxes that sorted out the tolls on the Austrian roads was on board their vehicle. If we were to go on to Austria then we would need this paperwork and the boxes. As we didn’t know how long the convoy leaders would be before they were back on the road Truck Doctor was despatched to go and collect the paperwork.

Then there were eight, the remaining convoy ploughed on and we passed away the hours with a pop quiz. The full range of music stored on everyone’s music players was broadcast over the CB radios and the first to get the artist or song got the promise of a beer. The Simpsons and Bulldogs led the way on this. We had music from all eras to suit the age range of the convoy from the sixties to present, rock to pop and Irish music to Cliff Richard. Everyone participated and a great time was had by all (Except Monster Socks and Truck Doctor).

The eight of us made it to the Austrian border and secured rooms for all of the convoy in a hotel in the services. It was a tight squeeze and some had to share double beds to fit us all in but that’s all part of the convoy experience (You have to make friends very quickly). At this point good news was received that Monster Socks and Truck Doctor were on the road and had ended up only a couple of hours behind us so they were well on their way to re-joining the convoy.

Finally the convoy was back complete again, looking tired but not defeated Monster Socks and Truck Doctor arrived at the services restaurant to a great cheer from the rest of the convoy. Apparently Monster Socks had a tough time waiting for their vehicle to be fixed, when Truck Doctor met up with them the pair of them were stretched out on the grass with their tops off and sunbathing.

And finally we had our first medal ceremony today. (These medals are awarded for outstanding examples of stupidity or the biggest cock up of the day) Apparently because of my services towards stupidity over the first two days I was awarded a special double medal (usually plastic but this one was metal, with a pink ribbon and a big number 2 on it) This now means that I now lead the medal table with five medals in total (I am away out in the lead for the title of convoy idiot)

Until next time

See ya later

Paul (one half of the big boppers)